Posts Tagged ‘beer’

You could be a fairy and use your shirt to pop the bottle off your beer. On the other hand, you could be the man and follow these guys


Being a bum, it’s not so bad

I don’t see the problem here

I took a shower threw on a suit and started my normal work exodus. Outside my door I noticed a bum reading the paper. Moments later there was another bum, taking a shit on the corner of a building. Seemed like a normal day. Before I get on the subway there’s another one playing a violin that would sound good to Helen Keller.

I hop on the subway and see another one sleeping half naked in the corner of the subway. Just when I begin to think my ride will consist of the same five songs I listen to going to work every day, it happens. The king-bum is in the middle of the subway, talking to himself. He’s holding a full on conversation about politics and drugs…with himself. He’s also wearing jean shorts and his jacket looks like a bear’s tampon. We make eye contact for ½ a second and that’s when it hits me. I’m not making fun of these people. I’m absurdly jealous.

Imagine, instead of putting on your suit tomorrow and squatting on the pot pre shower, you decide to ‘take your talents’ to 14th street and paint the street brown. After I’m done with my morning magic I might hang out in the middle of the street singing call me maybe, and literally cat call at every chick that walks by. Maybe I’ll flag down a cab, hop in, and not pay them. Then the cabbie will chase me around for money until he realizes that I’m throwing stolen street meat at innocent bystanders in broad daylight. I’d spend the next hour asking anyone, vendor or civilian, for a steak and cheese sandwich.

I might spend lunch with some other bums bitching about my alcoholism and telling them about how I had 15 illegitimate kids. They don’t care, I don’t know what I’m talking about, and the cops refuse to arrest us. When you subtract out the whole ‘I have no money’ part of it, it’s not bad. Hang out in the nice weather, shoot the shit, literally do whatever the hell you want to do, and the world is your bathroom. Not to mention, you have instant allies with other bums.
Right now, if I sneeze the wrong way on the subway I get arrested for sexual harassment. Their immunity has to be praised. Next time you see a bum and you feel sorry, think again. The guy probably had a chimichanga and a beer for breakfast and fired one off in the middle of Duane Reade, all before 10AM.

Mmmmmmm Beer?

Posted: May 15, 2013 in Everything in Between
Tags: , ,

We’ve watched this about 10 times and still don’t understand what the hell is going on

Plenty of people think they know beer. The simple fact is that there are about a million different factors that go into a good bottle of refreshing goodness. We’ve all set next to the clown at the bar who tells us that his ‘frozen frog balls’ 30 minute IPA is the best beer on the planet. We’ve also seen the other side of the argument which involves people telling us that bud light or coors light are the greatest beers on the planet. For this post, we challenge you to kick the keg, throw the tap out, empty out your fridge, cleanse your liver, and begin questioning why you haven’t followed through with your dream of brewing your own beer.

No, we’re not talking about brewing beer out of some home-brew christmas gift you got last year and re-gifted to your brother on his next birthday. Take it from one of the beer champions of the world in this Huffington post article, a one on one on how to brew and barter with the best.

Before you have a Sunday Funday and try to pick up chicks drinking Modelo and Coronas, let’s a take a minute to understand what the hell happened here. Mexico beat france over a hundred and 51 years ago in an epic battle. That’s all I know about it. Some dude named Zaragoza Big Dicked the french and now we’re entitled to drink copious amounts of alcohol.

Two things taking you into the weekend. Watch this bro down a whole bottle of tequila.

And check out these mexican smoke shows making my pants shorter